Dutch Comfort

There are some Dutch customs that I don't believe I will ever adopt, no matter how long I live here. One of them is the habit of leaving the curtains open and the lights on after it has gotten dark. The Dutch are comfortable with this, I am not. According to what they have told me it has something to do with Calvinism and wishing to demonstrate that they had nothing to hide at their house. Personally I tend to think it goes more in the direction of exhibitionism and voyeurism. They even have a word for people who peer into windows, "pottekijker". I'm going to have to ask a Nederlander where that comes from. Anyway, the pottekijkers are the voyeurs. On some level I can understand that part of it and it seems like they're pretty good at not making it obvious that they're peeking. A useful, if questionable skill. One of my neighbor ladies keeps asking me why my curtains are often closed before it's dark. Maybe I've been denying her a chance to satisfy her curiosity about our living room. I get it, wanting to see inside other peoples' houses, but I'm not comfortable giving up my privacy so she can get her eyeful. Nothing personal. I can't adapt to the Dutch comfort level on this one. I'm not even doing anything interesting in there, I just don't like having the curtains open after dark.

I struggle to get a good grip on the Dutch feelings concerning privacy. On the one hand it seems like they don't believe in it, on the other hand we're living in one of the most densely populated countries in the world. People live more or less on top of one another. You have to have privacy. When boundaries break down they can end up being at each other's throats over small things. The housing corporations and municipalities here often have arbitration services to help resolve differences between neighbors. Considering the way most people actually do get along here, it's a bit of a miracle. Perhaps it's become part of the normal temperament here as an adaptation to the cramped quarters. It seems like they've worked out a system as to what should be private and what shouldn't, but I haven't figured it out yet. It's confusing. People here can be very direct or very evasive depending on what the topic is. Some things they'll just straight up tell you and never blush. With other things you'll never drag a straight answer out of them if you try for a hundred years. The outside perspective makes it interesting to try to puzzle them out. It is a very small country, but at the same time I know I could spend a lifetime here and still not have them completely figured out. I get the feeling that's how they like it. Appear to be open, but never show anybody anything they're not meant to see. Perhaps to them I'm the ultimate pottekijker, an outside observer looking in at the Netherlands. It's endlessly fascinating trying to guess at why they put certain things on display and other things out of sight, but it seems like it's a carefully managed thing either way. 

Dutch Comfort: n.- Comfort derived from a situation not being any worse than it is.