Culture Shock

There are so many things I have to get used to about the Netherlands. Being presented with plants is one of them. It's nice. It's one of the things I really like about the Dutch. Yesterday one of our neighbors brought us a beautiful peace lily to wish my husband a good recovery. Because they still do things like that here. If you're sick, they might bring you a houseplant or flowers or send you a card or if they really like you, they might even bring over soup. I'm not used to knowing my neighbors' names. I'm really not used to neighbors doing things for each other. I'm not used to a lot of things they do here, but I like it and I'm willing to learn it from them.

When they talk about assimilating to the Dutch culture it doesn't really cover the scope of what that means. I still haven't gotten used to the three kisses on alternating cheeks thing. I come from a place where people usually don't touch each other unless they're drunk and it's dark. We don't touch each other in greeting. It takes quite a bit for me to overcome my conditioning and do the cheek kissing thing. I'm still working on it.

Now that I can finally speak passable Dutch I am finding myself able to explain a little what the differences are between what I grew up with and how people do things here. It's interesting to see the understanding snap into place once you're able to communicate where you're coming from. Before I could speak with them on their own terms I wasn't able to do that. They take it for granted sometimes that what they know is the only way things could be, so it confuses them when foreigners don't just automatically understand the correct way to clean a window or the correct place to store your potatoes and separate your rubbish. It's very distressing for the Dutch to see someone put something in the wrong bin.

It was endlessly frustrating for me in the beginning, like trying to keep up with a dance you don't know any of the steps to. There were times before I could speak the language when I could see their frustration with me and I wished that I could tell them how frustrating it was for both of us. People in the Netherlands often speak English, but it's to varying degrees of competency. Just because they speak a little English doesn't mean it's always going to be very good English. I know how much it takes out of me to communicate in Dutch for any length of time and I can sympathize with what it must be like for them trying to do that the other way around. And being completely fair to them, I'm living in their country. If they try to communicate with me in my language they're already going above and beyond for me. My learning Dutch makes it easier for them because I'm meeting them halfway and not forcing them to switch languages just to talk to me.

I'm still working on it, and I might never blog in Nederlands because I don't think I'll ever be fluent enough to do the language justice, but I'm getting to the point now where I can appreciate the nuances of the language and the culture. What I can say is that once I got over my initial culture shock and started giving them a chance I found the Netherlands to be a kind, friendly place if they decide they like you. They appreciate the effort here almost as much as the accomplishment. If they see that you're making an honest effort they will give you a lot of help and encouragement. That's another thing I have to get used to. I'm not used to a culture where effort is recognized like it is here.